Tag: self

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Shelter

I am in a rather long season of singleness. Being alone can make you lonely sometimes, but it is in this time of “aloneness” that I’ve found a special relationship with God.

He is my shelter & my foundation. My lack of person, in the wee hours of the night, has lead me to late night talks with the Holy Spirit. I can lean into Him and find my hiding place – my safe place, where I can share those things that no one else know.

Psalm 91:3-6 says “Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stocks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.”

This is the promise for me & for you. In the darkness, he will cover you…when the arrow flies, he will cover you…when the person talks behind your back, when you are overlooked, when you feel defeated, broken or misunderstood, he will cover you.

In those “wee hours of the night” talks, remember to tell the Holy Spirit all that is on your heart & let him wrap you up in himself. You have shelter in him.

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32 Things I’ve Learned in 32 Years

I’m not in any way an expert on life, but being around for a few decades does give you some insight.  If nothing else, this was a fun writing exercise I wanted to share with everyone.  Here are 32 things I’ve learned in 32 years:

  1. I have learned a lot in 3 decades of life and yet there is still so much to learn. Life is complicated, messy and chaotic and it takes a life time to figure it out.
  2. Forgive quickly – I used to be offended by every little thing that someone would do that hurt me, even a tiny bit, and then I realized that I was pretty a miserable person. Forgiveness and grace is a beautiful thing and it not only releases the one who offended it also releases you.  Give it over to God and let Him deal with it.
  3. Find at least 1 person (it is better if there is more) who is older and have endured things you haven’t – who can share their wisdom with you. Some call them spiritual parents, others call them mentors and then others just call them friends.  Regardless of what you call them – make sure you do this – no matter what age, unless your 100 – then you’re good.
  4. When God gives you a promise, believe him. He is faithful.
  5. Let God fight your battles. His ways are better than our ways.  It may take time, but your victory is imminent.
  6. Worship and read the Bible daily. Spend time with God and let Him pour into you every day without exception – even if it is a simple scripture that you meditate on.
  7. Find time for you – it’s important to take care of and pour into you. People need you and if you (the person who looks back when you look in the mirror) do not allow yourself to be refilled – you won’t be able to be there for those who rely on you.  Make YOU a priority!
  8. No one will be able to do everything right 24/7 – give yourself some grace and allow yourself to make a few mistakes here and there. Learning from our mistakes makes us better.
  9. Make sure you let people know you love them and cherish them. Life is but a vapor and it can be over in an instant.
  10. Live in the moment – laugh often – make room for simple joys.
  11. Find some way to give back to people who cannot give back to you. That is one of the most fulfilling things in this life.
  12. Never give up on people. You may need to take a step back and create space, but don’t count a person out.  God has a plan for each and every person.
  13. Your weight isn’t everything. Focus on being healthy and making better choices because everyone isn’t going to be a size 0.
  14. Love with a fierceness and watch the people around you change for the good.
  15. Speak the truth in love. Don’t water the truth down, but don’t slap a person with it either.
  16. Life is crazy – learn to find humor in the rough areas.
  17. No matter how old you are – find someone to pour your wisdom into.
  18. Stop striving for perfection – that is an impossible task.
  19. Be genuinely you with at least 3 people in your life so they can hold you accountable. And then make sure you hold them accountable in return.
  20. Celebrate the small victories in life.
  21. Dream big with God – don’t let anyone tell you that a God-dream cannot happen.
  22. Asking for help isn’t weak, but shows great character when you say “I can’t do this alone”
  23. Try to be humble even when it is hard. The world will tell you to push people out of the way, but the Kingdom of God runs on others serving others.  Be a servant.
  24. If you know you’ve done wrong – apologize. It won’t be that hard to do.
  25. Appreciate those in your life who help you – at work, church, home, grocery store, mechanic – strangers, friends and family – know that they don’t have to do anything for you.
  26. Put your words into actions – do what you say you are going to do & follow your own advice. (I’m smiling right now because I’m writing this long list that I now need to follow – ha!)
  27. Don’t do something in the dark you wouldn’t want to be seen in the light. Live a life of integrity – it means you spend less time covering things up!
  28. Don’t minimize yourself to please others. Be the person who God made you to be even if others don’t understand you.  God will sustain you and take care of the critics.
  29. Fly under the radar – surprising people is fun!
  30. Enjoy the journey and the people that are on it with you.
  31. Read more and watch TV less
  32. Never, ever give up – no matter what. Every day brings new mercies…

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Out of Hand

This morning, I walked into work after having a few days off for the Thanksgiving holiday to major system issues.  My work is impeded majorly and I can only do a fraction of what I usually do until all gets corrected.  It is frustrating to not be able to do some things that I need to do, but I also have to admit that much of the issues are out of my hand.  I cannot move forward until other parties do their part and figure out why the issue exists.  I have an option to be stressed out and worry.  I also have an option to be at peace knowing that I just need to wait and see what happens.

It makes me think how many times I spend worrying about things that are completely out of my hands.  Sometimes, the issues in my life are completely fixable and I can get it all settled really easily and quickly.  There are other times when there is very little I can do to make things okay and I have a choice on how I react to it.  It is super hard to feel out of control or have things that NEED to get done and you just can’t.  But, in reality, there is very little I can control.

So, dear reader, I ask you – how many times have you went out of your mind with worry, anger, or fear when things happen that are completely out of your hands?  How many times do you feel extremely helpless and hopeless?  It’s so easy to do, isn’t it?  It’s a human condition we must face – that we are very small in a big universe.  But, when we add our big God to that equation – we aren’t that helpless and hopeless anymore.

John 16:33 says  “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 
Relationship issues, financial issues, children issues – whatever issues you may face, Jesus overcame them on the Cross.  We need to 1) give your cares to God (1 Peter 5:7), 2) wait patiently on the Lord and be still before Him (Psalm 37:7) 3) and the Lord will fight your battle (Exodus 14:14).  It seems too simple to be true, right?  Well, we may have to deal with the situations we are walking through – but as long as we put our trust in God, He will take care of the situation and make sure we come out in good standing.  It is out of your hands.

So we need to realize (I’m for sure including myself in this because it is a lesson I continue to get taught) that so many of the battles we try to fight are not ours to win.  God will work things out for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  So be patient and realize that things are working behind the scenes.  Hold on and you will see great things happen!

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Combating the Chaos

Chaos is how I live my life. No, I don’t have children or a husband…if I did, I’m sure my life would be EVEN MORE chaotic…so everyone who is busy with life and has a family – you are my heroes!!!  You are rock stars for sure.

Chaos is comfortable to me.  I don’t like to be still or not have 5 different things going on at once.  It just seems strange to me to have nothing going on.  I believe that there are many women and some men who have this same issue of being sooo busy.  We love the controlled chaos of life.  But it can become too much abs if we allow it, it can become uncontrolled chaos – which happens more times than I’d like to admit.

When these uncontrolled chaos moments happen, I often feel overwhelmed and like I no longer have control over my life.  I have a feeling that you, dear reader, have experienced this from time to time too.  Especially if you are a stubborn control freak like me (ha!).

It’s in these moments of my life I feel like an ultimate failure because I cannot juggle it all and be successful.  And, it seems, I spiral right out of control into a “I’m not going to do anything with my life” conversation inside my head.  Can you tell I tend to be a little overdramatic?  The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Psalm 23:1-3 reads “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.”  This is one of my go to scriptures when I feel incomplete because it reminds me that, in God, I have all that I need.

When I become overwhelmed with life and my “to-do” list, I remember this scripture and

  • The need to stop and breathe

Rest – rest in the knowledge that God is all you ever need.  How often we try to figure things out when it isn’t meant for us to know everything?  Sometimes we have to stop, breathe and remember that God has it all worked out.  He has the control and has our best interest at heart.  Rest in the fact that, if we cannot do everything we think we are supposed to do – God is ever faithful and will be there when we drop the ball – even on the small things in life.

  • Social Media Snocial Media

It’s great to connect with people from every area of your life.  We get to see our friends’ children grow up, stay in contact with family who live too far to see consistently and stay up with the current events all through your preferred form of Social Media.  Too often, though, we find that it takes our peace.  Someone doesn’t like our status, another person posts a nasty comment that you think is about you, and another person posts their opinion that doesn’t match yours which leads you to get upset.  Sometimes, we need to step way, check our thinking, and realize that this medium is not the proper way to form relationships.  Step away, make face to face connections and keep Facebook, instragram, or twitter as something fun rather than stressful.

  • Make sure you show love to those who God has put in your life

Too many times in our crazy busy world we just zoom through life trying to achieve things when we are supposed to be sharing life with others.  We were created to be in community, but all too often we make life about what we checked off our to do list rather than whose life we touched.  Take moments out of your week to spend with people and show them that they matter to you.

  • Don’t worry about every little thing in life

Life is messy and that is okay.  Learn to laugh at the things that go wrong rather than worry about them.  Because, at the end of the day, getting worked up about something small that went wrong didn’t make it any better.  Don’t sweat the small things.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, realize what you did wrong and move on.  If you chuckle along the way because you looked a little silly then that is even better!

  • Spend time with God

Out of all of these points, this is probably the most important because we find our peace, rest and refreshment from spending time with God.   Psalm 42:1 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”  We need time with God like we need water, food and air.  It is essential to our survival.  Make sure that you take time to be still with God and hear His voice.  It’s important that we tell God our requests and it is equally important that we allow God to speak into us.  I have personally found the more I allow God to pour into me, the more I am able to combat the chaos that life can throw at me.

The more I rely on God to lead me through life, the more I realize that the busyness of life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  One of my goals going forward to is to be more present in the now and spend more time showing people that they matter.  When I die – many, many years from now – I don’t want people to say that I got a lot of things done, but that I made them feel important.  In the end, that is what matters.

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Pressing Reset

Being a Christian does not automatically cause you to stop sinning. Nope…I am a sinner in need of a Savior every day.  Being a Christian also doesn’t keep you from experiencing tough times.  Nope…we go through them like every other human on the Earth.  The difference, though, resides in who we turn to when in those trials.

Here is a major battle I fight often: I feel so inadequate and unworthy at times. I feel very much like I am worthless…like the promises God has placed on my life are not real.  Oh, but those are just lies.  They are lies from the enemy who wants me to cower and not fulfill my life’s purpose; to keep me believing that I am weak and no different than I’ve ever been.

What about you? What are the lies the enemy tells you?  What self-talk do you struggle with?

The greatest way to counter those lies is the word of God. The truth in the Bible is everlasting.  It will not die!

Here are a few truths I consistently remind myself of:

God loves you and me: But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

You and I are made new: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

He knew us before He formed us: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Through Christ, we are made strong: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Believers have been given eternal life: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

We have been bought with a high price: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” (1 Peter 1:18-19)

Replacing the lies of the enemy – whatever those lies may be – with the word of God will keep your mind on track. Keeping your thoughts on track will help you stay your course and finish the race set before us.  Don’t ever give up!

There are times, though, where I find myself in a place that I am unsure what are lies and what aren’t. It get confusing because life gets busy, I don’t spend time with God like I should, or I’m just stuck in a mindset that is unhealthy…I will have to pray this simple prayer from Psalm 139:23-24:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

I encourage you to start spending time with God every day. Pray the prayer from Psalm 139,  Feed your mind with the word of God so when the enemy lies, you can remind yourself what God says about you.

Be blessed, readers.

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No Greater Love

The week between Christmas & New Years Day is always time of reflection for me. I try to evaluate my year, what was good and wasn’t so good….go over the things that need to remain and the things that need to go.

One thing that I know I need to give up is strife…especially between me and the people in my life. I need to abandon living in chaos, turmoil, and anger. Let people be people, but still love them inconditionally. Not allowing them to disrupt my life with issues, but still be there for them. Learning to die to myself.

Ponder this scripture:

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. (‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭9-14‬ NLT)

Die to oneself – get rid of pride, self-pity so you can love people fully. Take care of yourself, but don’t allow that to turn into selfishness. When someone does something that hurts you, forgive them. When someone tries to take you down, love them. When people are self-centered, pray for them. Let God develop that kind of heart in you – let His love for us teach us to be like His Son.

Be blessed.

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Wonderfully made

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply, they met together to question him again. One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’

A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭22‬:‭34-37, 39-40‬ NLT)

When I was in grad school at DBU, one professor spoke on this scripture. It has resonated with me because she posed a different perspective that I never had seen up to that point – in order to love people as ourselves, we must first love ourselves.

The concept at first seems selfish, at least it does for me, but when you start to look into the human psyche – our souls – you will find that we simply reflect out what we have inside.

That is why people have that saying – “When people treat you bad it isn’t about you, it’s about them.”

Ultimately, then, in order to serve & love others properly, we must first take care of ourselves. Not in a selfish or cruel way. Not because we are better than someone else. Not because I’m a Christian & they aren’t. Because we have a responsibility to be the best us we can be – because God made us as we are for a reason.

Ponder this scripture:

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13-18‬ NLT)

We are all, each one of us, His creation; therefore, if one person needs to take care of themself, then we all do. To the one who we are to love with all our hearts, our minds & our souls, then we need to make sure they are worthy. Allow God to show you your personal value & worth. Let Him help you understand why it isn’t selfish to take care of you.

Be blessed.

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