Tag: feelings

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Hello Refresh

Rest…that has been something God has wanted me to pursue this year. That is one thing I have a hard time doing – not being in control & in the middle of everything. One thing that is not “natural” for me. I know some of you can relate.

Busyness is a common place for me. It is my comfort zone and it helps me define my worth. Yes, that is right…without something to do, I have a hard time seeing myself as important in this world. Without doing something – will people love me as I am? Will God accept me?

Am I good enough to just be me without offering anything to the world? Is it enough for me to not have 5 things happen all at the same time? If I’m not drowning in stuff to do, am I doing it right?

Oh, but when God says to do something, you should do it. I’ve learned this the hard way this year. God is a good Father and will step in if His children are stubborn. That stubborn child is me. Lord, help me.

God had to shift things up so that I would pay attention. Let me just tell you this – it is much easier if you just listen to God. Remember this next time you – yourself- want to be stubborn.

Don’t get me wrong, the fact that God stepped in is a place of celebration for me. This is because I know He cares and that I am His. Hebrews 12:6 says: ““For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”” It is a blessing to be disciplined because it means He calls us His.

One thing God has helped me understand in this season is that He is in control. That He can be trusted. One of the reasons I was so busy was because I wanted to be in the middle of everything because I couldn’t trust that I would be cared for. I know, silly to think about how God won’t take care of me when He is so good however, that trust is not too easy to walk out.

Faith is a strange thing. When you don’t trust God with everything, you cannot have faith in Him with your whole heart. This is a problem for someone who lives for God – because your life contradicts itself. That was me. I was not allowing God to move in me like He wanted to.

So – now, after God got me alone, I had two choices. I could learn to lean into Him or walk away from Him. I chose to lean in. I wish I could say that it was easy, but it wasn’t. I could never imagine myself walking away from God, but it was still so hard to lean in and trust.

Let me tell you this – as I lean in closer, the more and more I see that He knows best. That His healing is not here today and gone tomorrow – it lasts. That whatever I face, He wants to fight for me (Exodus 14:14). And He can be trusted with everything – whatever it may be!

So if what I just described is something you have faced lately…know this – you can lean in and you can trust God. He will not leave you or abandon you!! Reach out to God, repent for not trusting Him and start following His lead.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”

Psalms 91:1-4 NLT

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It’s time to move (on)

Have you ever done something stupid? Or hurt someone real bad? Or did something even worse…

We have all been there in some way. Each of us know what it’s like to feel guilt and shame. It’s part of this life. But this is also where we sometimes get caught up.

We even repent, ask God to forgive, make amends with others – and think we have fully moved on, but in the back of your mind, that thing is still there. It pops up in those late night thoughts and those lonely moments – making you feel hopeless.

Listen to me, friend, if it’s forgiven, move on. Stop beating yourself up. It’s time to forgive yourself and lay that guilt down.

If you haven’t repented or asked someone to forgive you, do it and don’t let it bother you any more. This life is far too fragile to allow yourself to be overridden with worry, regret, and shame.

Apologize to God and others (if needed) and keep going. Acknowledge that you cannot go back and change what happened in your past, but you can make sure it doesn’t happen in your future.

Remember that in Christ, you are a new creation. Tomorrow is a new day with new adventures. Hold your head up, shoulders back and show the Enemy he didn’t win!

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Prayer: Lord, you know that thing or things that hold me up & I cannot allow myself to forgive myself – help me let it go. If I have never asked you for repentance, please forgive me and help me do better in the future. Thank you for your Son Jesus and His sacrifice so I may ask for forgiveness and move on. You are so good! Amen.

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32 Things I’ve Learned in 32 Years

I’m not in any way an expert on life, but being around for a few decades does give you some insight.  If nothing else, this was a fun writing exercise I wanted to share with everyone.  Here are 32 things I’ve learned in 32 years:

  1. I have learned a lot in 3 decades of life and yet there is still so much to learn. Life is complicated, messy and chaotic and it takes a life time to figure it out.
  2. Forgive quickly – I used to be offended by every little thing that someone would do that hurt me, even a tiny bit, and then I realized that I was pretty a miserable person. Forgiveness and grace is a beautiful thing and it not only releases the one who offended it also releases you.  Give it over to God and let Him deal with it.
  3. Find at least 1 person (it is better if there is more) who is older and have endured things you haven’t – who can share their wisdom with you. Some call them spiritual parents, others call them mentors and then others just call them friends.  Regardless of what you call them – make sure you do this – no matter what age, unless your 100 – then you’re good.
  4. When God gives you a promise, believe him. He is faithful.
  5. Let God fight your battles. His ways are better than our ways.  It may take time, but your victory is imminent.
  6. Worship and read the Bible daily. Spend time with God and let Him pour into you every day without exception – even if it is a simple scripture that you meditate on.
  7. Find time for you – it’s important to take care of and pour into you. People need you and if you (the person who looks back when you look in the mirror) do not allow yourself to be refilled – you won’t be able to be there for those who rely on you.  Make YOU a priority!
  8. No one will be able to do everything right 24/7 – give yourself some grace and allow yourself to make a few mistakes here and there. Learning from our mistakes makes us better.
  9. Make sure you let people know you love them and cherish them. Life is but a vapor and it can be over in an instant.
  10. Live in the moment – laugh often – make room for simple joys.
  11. Find some way to give back to people who cannot give back to you. That is one of the most fulfilling things in this life.
  12. Never give up on people. You may need to take a step back and create space, but don’t count a person out.  God has a plan for each and every person.
  13. Your weight isn’t everything. Focus on being healthy and making better choices because everyone isn’t going to be a size 0.
  14. Love with a fierceness and watch the people around you change for the good.
  15. Speak the truth in love. Don’t water the truth down, but don’t slap a person with it either.
  16. Life is crazy – learn to find humor in the rough areas.
  17. No matter how old you are – find someone to pour your wisdom into.
  18. Stop striving for perfection – that is an impossible task.
  19. Be genuinely you with at least 3 people in your life so they can hold you accountable. And then make sure you hold them accountable in return.
  20. Celebrate the small victories in life.
  21. Dream big with God – don’t let anyone tell you that a God-dream cannot happen.
  22. Asking for help isn’t weak, but shows great character when you say “I can’t do this alone”
  23. Try to be humble even when it is hard. The world will tell you to push people out of the way, but the Kingdom of God runs on others serving others.  Be a servant.
  24. If you know you’ve done wrong – apologize. It won’t be that hard to do.
  25. Appreciate those in your life who help you – at work, church, home, grocery store, mechanic – strangers, friends and family – know that they don’t have to do anything for you.
  26. Put your words into actions – do what you say you are going to do & follow your own advice. (I’m smiling right now because I’m writing this long list that I now need to follow – ha!)
  27. Don’t do something in the dark you wouldn’t want to be seen in the light. Live a life of integrity – it means you spend less time covering things up!
  28. Don’t minimize yourself to please others. Be the person who God made you to be even if others don’t understand you.  God will sustain you and take care of the critics.
  29. Fly under the radar – surprising people is fun!
  30. Enjoy the journey and the people that are on it with you.
  31. Read more and watch TV less
  32. Never, ever give up – no matter what. Every day brings new mercies…

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Combating the Chaos

Chaos is how I live my life. No, I don’t have children or a husband…if I did, I’m sure my life would be EVEN MORE chaotic…so everyone who is busy with life and has a family – you are my heroes!!!  You are rock stars for sure.

Chaos is comfortable to me.  I don’t like to be still or not have 5 different things going on at once.  It just seems strange to me to have nothing going on.  I believe that there are many women and some men who have this same issue of being sooo busy.  We love the controlled chaos of life.  But it can become too much abs if we allow it, it can become uncontrolled chaos – which happens more times than I’d like to admit.

When these uncontrolled chaos moments happen, I often feel overwhelmed and like I no longer have control over my life.  I have a feeling that you, dear reader, have experienced this from time to time too.  Especially if you are a stubborn control freak like me (ha!).

It’s in these moments of my life I feel like an ultimate failure because I cannot juggle it all and be successful.  And, it seems, I spiral right out of control into a “I’m not going to do anything with my life” conversation inside my head.  Can you tell I tend to be a little overdramatic?  The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Psalm 23:1-3 reads “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.”  This is one of my go to scriptures when I feel incomplete because it reminds me that, in God, I have all that I need.

When I become overwhelmed with life and my “to-do” list, I remember this scripture and

  • The need to stop and breathe

Rest – rest in the knowledge that God is all you ever need.  How often we try to figure things out when it isn’t meant for us to know everything?  Sometimes we have to stop, breathe and remember that God has it all worked out.  He has the control and has our best interest at heart.  Rest in the fact that, if we cannot do everything we think we are supposed to do – God is ever faithful and will be there when we drop the ball – even on the small things in life.

  • Social Media Snocial Media

It’s great to connect with people from every area of your life.  We get to see our friends’ children grow up, stay in contact with family who live too far to see consistently and stay up with the current events all through your preferred form of Social Media.  Too often, though, we find that it takes our peace.  Someone doesn’t like our status, another person posts a nasty comment that you think is about you, and another person posts their opinion that doesn’t match yours which leads you to get upset.  Sometimes, we need to step way, check our thinking, and realize that this medium is not the proper way to form relationships.  Step away, make face to face connections and keep Facebook, instragram, or twitter as something fun rather than stressful.

  • Make sure you show love to those who God has put in your life

Too many times in our crazy busy world we just zoom through life trying to achieve things when we are supposed to be sharing life with others.  We were created to be in community, but all too often we make life about what we checked off our to do list rather than whose life we touched.  Take moments out of your week to spend with people and show them that they matter to you.

  • Don’t worry about every little thing in life

Life is messy and that is okay.  Learn to laugh at the things that go wrong rather than worry about them.  Because, at the end of the day, getting worked up about something small that went wrong didn’t make it any better.  Don’t sweat the small things.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, realize what you did wrong and move on.  If you chuckle along the way because you looked a little silly then that is even better!

  • Spend time with God

Out of all of these points, this is probably the most important because we find our peace, rest and refreshment from spending time with God.   Psalm 42:1 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”  We need time with God like we need water, food and air.  It is essential to our survival.  Make sure that you take time to be still with God and hear His voice.  It’s important that we tell God our requests and it is equally important that we allow God to speak into us.  I have personally found the more I allow God to pour into me, the more I am able to combat the chaos that life can throw at me.

The more I rely on God to lead me through life, the more I realize that the busyness of life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  One of my goals going forward to is to be more present in the now and spend more time showing people that they matter.  When I die – many, many years from now – I don’t want people to say that I got a lot of things done, but that I made them feel important.  In the end, that is what matters.

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Pressing Reset

Being a Christian does not automatically cause you to stop sinning. Nope…I am a sinner in need of a Savior every day.  Being a Christian also doesn’t keep you from experiencing tough times.  Nope…we go through them like every other human on the Earth.  The difference, though, resides in who we turn to when in those trials.

Here is a major battle I fight often: I feel so inadequate and unworthy at times. I feel very much like I am worthless…like the promises God has placed on my life are not real.  Oh, but those are just lies.  They are lies from the enemy who wants me to cower and not fulfill my life’s purpose; to keep me believing that I am weak and no different than I’ve ever been.

What about you? What are the lies the enemy tells you?  What self-talk do you struggle with?

The greatest way to counter those lies is the word of God. The truth in the Bible is everlasting.  It will not die!

Here are a few truths I consistently remind myself of:

God loves you and me: But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

You and I are made new: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

He knew us before He formed us: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Through Christ, we are made strong: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Believers have been given eternal life: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

We have been bought with a high price: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” (1 Peter 1:18-19)

Replacing the lies of the enemy – whatever those lies may be – with the word of God will keep your mind on track. Keeping your thoughts on track will help you stay your course and finish the race set before us.  Don’t ever give up!

There are times, though, where I find myself in a place that I am unsure what are lies and what aren’t. It get confusing because life gets busy, I don’t spend time with God like I should, or I’m just stuck in a mindset that is unhealthy…I will have to pray this simple prayer from Psalm 139:23-24:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

I encourage you to start spending time with God every day. Pray the prayer from Psalm 139,  Feed your mind with the word of God so when the enemy lies, you can remind yourself what God says about you.

Be blessed, readers.

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Letting Go

I was trying to find something to watch on TV one night and stumbled upon the show Hoarders.  Have you ever seen it?  I don’t know why I sat there & watched an hour detailing the condition and subsequent clean up of a house filled with trash.  But I couldn’t seem to turn the channel – something about it intrigued me.

As a part of the show, they brought in a psychiatrist to help the person hoarding understand her dysfunction.  Basically, after her husband passed, she just started to throw everything on the floor, so bad that she cannot see the floor in her house any longer.  It was a product of bringing the chaos she was feeling inside to the outside.  It somehow satisfied her.  This went on for 18 years.  It wasn’t until the city prepared to take the house away from her and condemn it did she allow someone to come in and help.

As I watched this story unfold, the Holy Spirit asked me – how many times have you hoarded things in your mind, heart, or emotions until you had to get rid of it?  How many times do you not want to deal with a bad situation so you stuff it down?  How many times have you compromised your health because you don’t want to properly clean up a mess in your mind, heart, or emotions?

We do not have to hoard in order to live an unhealthy life.  We just have to leave emotions, thoughts, problems sitting around long enough for them to start to stink, rot, and compromise our health.  The structure of our personhood – the being God has uniquely created – can be compromised and be set to be condemned; it isn’t then we start to clean ourselves up.

I had the privilege and honor to be a few people’s counselor a few years back.  As I head their stories, I saw how months, years, decades of repressed emotions from past problems have caused their lives to spin out of order.  Now, they come and sit on a couch to ask a perfect stranger for help. 

 There is absolutely no shame in doing this.  God created the act of counseling for a reason and He loves it when His children find healing.  If you find yourself in a place where you think you are spinning out of control, I encourage you to seek help.  But before you do that, before you reach out to your BFF, your mom, or the Internet, consider another solution.

Turn to God:

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

‭‭I Peter‬ ‭5:6-7‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Sometimes, we need to get on our knees, seek His face, and ask our precious loving Father to help us clean the mess we allowed to get overrun with hurt, bitterness, and frustration up.  Help us clean up the consequences of our avoidance.  Put us on a track to getting better.  Placing people in our lives who can help us get to where we need to be.  

If you find yourself in a situation like this, you are not alone.  I’ve been there, as well as many others.  There is a solution – it may get hard – but it will get better.  Trust that God has it all worked out as soon as you lay it in His hands.

Be blessed my friends!  Never, ever stop seeking.

   

  

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Emotions

I have had a lot of days lately where I am stuck in my emotions.  Do you know what I am talking about?  The times when I just cannot shake the feelings this earthly, human, finite brain keeps rolling around as I try to go about my day.  It is sometimes maddening.  Maybe someone did something, something happened at work, or just life is crazy – regardless of why – it still knocks me off my game.

Being human and being a Child of God sometimes…often…conflicts with each other.  Philippians 4:6-7 says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  And then, Galatians 5:22-23 says “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such there is no law.”

To be the light of the world, we do not get to always act out how we feel.  Our goal on this earth, as His children, is to show people His love.  I vow to do this more, regardless of how I feel today, tomorrow, 10 years from now – will you take this vow with me?

Live fearlessly in Him, dear friends.  Be blessed!

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