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Identity Crisis

I was sitting in church worshiping and a thought hit me…why do we, as born-again Christians, have such a hard time laying things down and living a life full of joy when we serve such a faithful and present God?  I have seen so many people stay in their struggle to overcome things in the past for years and years – going to the alter crying, being prophesied over, reading the Bible, and all the other things that seem the right thing to do when we are walking with God.  And yet, they still have this baggage tagging along.

Could it be that when we have struggled so long with something that it becomes a part of us?  And when it becomes a part of us, we are afraid that, if we allow God to heal that part of us we no longer are who we have become to know as ourselves?  Therefore, we find so much of our identity in the struggle – healing, even if subconsciously, is just too scary to accept?

If this is correct – then laying this issue fully down and giving it ALL over to God is a completely scary thing full of doubt and anxiety.  As we face the fact that healing will bring so much change that we decide not to fully give God the authority to do what He needs to do.  And then we remain sitting in our mess because that is easier than the change of healing – even though God is more than willing to give us what we need if we fully trust him.

Our identity was never for us to be hurt, broken or misused.  We never were meant to remain sick, hurt, abused, or stuck.  That is not who God is.  We have seen, over and over, how God has redeemed those in the Old and New Testament – Jacob, Judah, Joseph, Moses, Rahab, David, Bathsheba, Solomon, Peter, Paul – to name only a few who have seen the redemptive work of the Lord in their lives when they surrender all to Him.

So – what is it for you?  What issue do you face that you need to lay down?  Trauma, chronic sickness, your abusive past, shame from what you did in your past, drugs, alcohol, relationships that are not good for you…what is it that you are afraid to lay down?  What struggle has become your identity?

Whatever it is, remember these things:

  • We are a new creature in Christ Jesus
    • So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:16-17
  • We are called out of darkness and into light
    • But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
  • Christ lives inside of us
    • My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
  • We are friends of Jesus
    • I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. John 15:15
  • We are God’s masterpiece
    • For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
  • We belong to God
    • But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
      O Israel, the one who formed you says,
      “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1
  • God’s thoughts about us are precious
    • How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
      I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalm 139:17-18
  • We were knit together in our mother’s wombs
    • You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
      Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
      You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
      You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
      Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:13-16

It’s time to start seeing our identity in Christ and not in the things that of this world.  No matter what someone has said to you or how someone made you feel, how long you have been sick or what secret shame you hide – God loves you and wants to make you whole.

Go to Him and give over those things that you are holding onto.  Let Him make you who He sees you to be!!

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Hustle Like Ruth

There are so many inspiring stories in the Bible and I love that some of those stories are women.  There is something different about a woman’s heart and to see God honor the hearts of women makes me love Him so much more.  We are His daughters and, just like His sons, He loves us dearly.

One of those amazing women is Ruth.  Ruth had an unusual story.  She finds herself in the old testament and is not a Hebrew/Israelite.  No, she is from Moab and her descendants were the result of incest.  A very disturbing story – anyone from this pagan city looked less than great.  They were outcasts.

Ruth’s story in the Bible begins with tragedy – her husband, brother-in-law and father-in-law all died very close together.  It is through this tragedy that God brought out the character of Ruth.  We can know her past and who she came from, but when she faced the unbearable, we see who she is individually.

Naomi – her mother-in-law told both Ruth and Orpah (her sister-in-law) to go back home to their families and culture because there would be no place for them back in Israel.  After much convincing Orpah said her goodbyes and did what Naomi asked.  But Ruth was stubborn – she knew what her assignment was.  Ruth 1:16-18 says: “But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!’  When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.”

When Ruth got to Bethlehem – Naomi sent her to glean barley – something widows did to get food when they had no man to support them.  She happened upon Boaz’s field – a man of integrity and a man who has heard what Ruth had done for her mother-in-law.  So he showed her favor.  She came back the first night with about 30 pounds of barley.  30 pounds!!!  After she realized that not only was Boaz a nice man, but was a blood relative, she was able to be redeemed.  Boaz became her husband and they had a son, Obed who was the father of Jesse who was the father of King David.  (Read her entire story in the book of Ruth – it is only 4 chapters long, but packed full of wisdom).  Her faithfulness, servant’s heart and willingness to do the hard things to help others got her in the lineage of King David and Jesus.

Ruth found her success by serving others.  It wasn’t because she had the best Instagram posts, she spoke the best in front of others or that she was the prettiest.  No, she didn’t go out to be the center of attention or to even get recognized.  Ruth found favor when she put others first.  The prize when she went the extra, extra mile was to find herself worthy to be a decedent of Jesus.

My challenge to you, reader, is to find ways you can serve others.  Serve others, not because it will take you places, not so you can get things, not so that you can be seen, but to just be a blessing.  Other people may not even see what you are doing.  Good, because God sees it.  An audience with God where He finds you pleasing is enough.  I will tell you from experience, serving others because you know that is the right thing to do will take you places far greater than when you serve only yourself.

Be a blessing to someone, y’all.  And do it from the heart!

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Shelter

I am in a rather long season of singleness. Being alone can make you lonely sometimes, but it is in this time of “aloneness” that I’ve found a special relationship with God.

He is my shelter & my foundation. My lack of person, in the wee hours of the night, has lead me to late night talks with the Holy Spirit. I can lean into Him and find my hiding place – my safe place, where I can share those things that no one else know.

Psalm 91:3-6 says “Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stocks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.”

This is the promise for me & for you. In the darkness, he will cover you…when the arrow flies, he will cover you…when the person talks behind your back, when you are overlooked, when you feel defeated, broken or misunderstood, he will cover you.

In those “wee hours of the night” talks, remember to tell the Holy Spirit all that is on your heart & let him wrap you up in himself. You have shelter in him.

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32 Things I’ve Learned in 32 Years

I’m not in any way an expert on life, but being around for a few decades does give you some insight.  If nothing else, this was a fun writing exercise I wanted to share with everyone.  Here are 32 things I’ve learned in 32 years:

  1. I have learned a lot in 3 decades of life and yet there is still so much to learn. Life is complicated, messy and chaotic and it takes a life time to figure it out.
  2. Forgive quickly – I used to be offended by every little thing that someone would do that hurt me, even a tiny bit, and then I realized that I was pretty a miserable person. Forgiveness and grace is a beautiful thing and it not only releases the one who offended it also releases you.  Give it over to God and let Him deal with it.
  3. Find at least 1 person (it is better if there is more) who is older and have endured things you haven’t – who can share their wisdom with you. Some call them spiritual parents, others call them mentors and then others just call them friends.  Regardless of what you call them – make sure you do this – no matter what age, unless your 100 – then you’re good.
  4. When God gives you a promise, believe him. He is faithful.
  5. Let God fight your battles. His ways are better than our ways.  It may take time, but your victory is imminent.
  6. Worship and read the Bible daily. Spend time with God and let Him pour into you every day without exception – even if it is a simple scripture that you meditate on.
  7. Find time for you – it’s important to take care of and pour into you. People need you and if you (the person who looks back when you look in the mirror) do not allow yourself to be refilled – you won’t be able to be there for those who rely on you.  Make YOU a priority!
  8. No one will be able to do everything right 24/7 – give yourself some grace and allow yourself to make a few mistakes here and there. Learning from our mistakes makes us better.
  9. Make sure you let people know you love them and cherish them. Life is but a vapor and it can be over in an instant.
  10. Live in the moment – laugh often – make room for simple joys.
  11. Find some way to give back to people who cannot give back to you. That is one of the most fulfilling things in this life.
  12. Never give up on people. You may need to take a step back and create space, but don’t count a person out.  God has a plan for each and every person.
  13. Your weight isn’t everything. Focus on being healthy and making better choices because everyone isn’t going to be a size 0.
  14. Love with a fierceness and watch the people around you change for the good.
  15. Speak the truth in love. Don’t water the truth down, but don’t slap a person with it either.
  16. Life is crazy – learn to find humor in the rough areas.
  17. No matter how old you are – find someone to pour your wisdom into.
  18. Stop striving for perfection – that is an impossible task.
  19. Be genuinely you with at least 3 people in your life so they can hold you accountable. And then make sure you hold them accountable in return.
  20. Celebrate the small victories in life.
  21. Dream big with God – don’t let anyone tell you that a God-dream cannot happen.
  22. Asking for help isn’t weak, but shows great character when you say “I can’t do this alone”
  23. Try to be humble even when it is hard. The world will tell you to push people out of the way, but the Kingdom of God runs on others serving others.  Be a servant.
  24. If you know you’ve done wrong – apologize. It won’t be that hard to do.
  25. Appreciate those in your life who help you – at work, church, home, grocery store, mechanic – strangers, friends and family – know that they don’t have to do anything for you.
  26. Put your words into actions – do what you say you are going to do & follow your own advice. (I’m smiling right now because I’m writing this long list that I now need to follow – ha!)
  27. Don’t do something in the dark you wouldn’t want to be seen in the light. Live a life of integrity – it means you spend less time covering things up!
  28. Don’t minimize yourself to please others. Be the person who God made you to be even if others don’t understand you.  God will sustain you and take care of the critics.
  29. Fly under the radar – surprising people is fun!
  30. Enjoy the journey and the people that are on it with you.
  31. Read more and watch TV less
  32. Never, ever give up – no matter what. Every day brings new mercies…

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Out of Hand

This morning, I walked into work after having a few days off for the Thanksgiving holiday to major system issues.  My work is impeded majorly and I can only do a fraction of what I usually do until all gets corrected.  It is frustrating to not be able to do some things that I need to do, but I also have to admit that much of the issues are out of my hand.  I cannot move forward until other parties do their part and figure out why the issue exists.  I have an option to be stressed out and worry.  I also have an option to be at peace knowing that I just need to wait and see what happens.

It makes me think how many times I spend worrying about things that are completely out of my hands.  Sometimes, the issues in my life are completely fixable and I can get it all settled really easily and quickly.  There are other times when there is very little I can do to make things okay and I have a choice on how I react to it.  It is super hard to feel out of control or have things that NEED to get done and you just can’t.  But, in reality, there is very little I can control.

So, dear reader, I ask you – how many times have you went out of your mind with worry, anger, or fear when things happen that are completely out of your hands?  How many times do you feel extremely helpless and hopeless?  It’s so easy to do, isn’t it?  It’s a human condition we must face – that we are very small in a big universe.  But, when we add our big God to that equation – we aren’t that helpless and hopeless anymore.

John 16:33 says  “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 
Relationship issues, financial issues, children issues – whatever issues you may face, Jesus overcame them on the Cross.  We need to 1) give your cares to God (1 Peter 5:7), 2) wait patiently on the Lord and be still before Him (Psalm 37:7) 3) and the Lord will fight your battle (Exodus 14:14).  It seems too simple to be true, right?  Well, we may have to deal with the situations we are walking through – but as long as we put our trust in God, He will take care of the situation and make sure we come out in good standing.  It is out of your hands.

So we need to realize (I’m for sure including myself in this because it is a lesson I continue to get taught) that so many of the battles we try to fight are not ours to win.  God will work things out for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  So be patient and realize that things are working behind the scenes.  Hold on and you will see great things happen!

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Combating the Chaos

Chaos is how I live my life. No, I don’t have children or a husband…if I did, I’m sure my life would be EVEN MORE chaotic…so everyone who is busy with life and has a family – you are my heroes!!!  You are rock stars for sure.

Chaos is comfortable to me.  I don’t like to be still or not have 5 different things going on at once.  It just seems strange to me to have nothing going on.  I believe that there are many women and some men who have this same issue of being sooo busy.  We love the controlled chaos of life.  But it can become too much abs if we allow it, it can become uncontrolled chaos – which happens more times than I’d like to admit.

When these uncontrolled chaos moments happen, I often feel overwhelmed and like I no longer have control over my life.  I have a feeling that you, dear reader, have experienced this from time to time too.  Especially if you are a stubborn control freak like me (ha!).

It’s in these moments of my life I feel like an ultimate failure because I cannot juggle it all and be successful.  And, it seems, I spiral right out of control into a “I’m not going to do anything with my life” conversation inside my head.  Can you tell I tend to be a little overdramatic?  The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Psalm 23:1-3 reads “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.”  This is one of my go to scriptures when I feel incomplete because it reminds me that, in God, I have all that I need.

When I become overwhelmed with life and my “to-do” list, I remember this scripture and

  • The need to stop and breathe

Rest – rest in the knowledge that God is all you ever need.  How often we try to figure things out when it isn’t meant for us to know everything?  Sometimes we have to stop, breathe and remember that God has it all worked out.  He has the control and has our best interest at heart.  Rest in the fact that, if we cannot do everything we think we are supposed to do – God is ever faithful and will be there when we drop the ball – even on the small things in life.

  • Social Media Snocial Media

It’s great to connect with people from every area of your life.  We get to see our friends’ children grow up, stay in contact with family who live too far to see consistently and stay up with the current events all through your preferred form of Social Media.  Too often, though, we find that it takes our peace.  Someone doesn’t like our status, another person posts a nasty comment that you think is about you, and another person posts their opinion that doesn’t match yours which leads you to get upset.  Sometimes, we need to step way, check our thinking, and realize that this medium is not the proper way to form relationships.  Step away, make face to face connections and keep Facebook, instragram, or twitter as something fun rather than stressful.

  • Make sure you show love to those who God has put in your life

Too many times in our crazy busy world we just zoom through life trying to achieve things when we are supposed to be sharing life with others.  We were created to be in community, but all too often we make life about what we checked off our to do list rather than whose life we touched.  Take moments out of your week to spend with people and show them that they matter to you.

  • Don’t worry about every little thing in life

Life is messy and that is okay.  Learn to laugh at the things that go wrong rather than worry about them.  Because, at the end of the day, getting worked up about something small that went wrong didn’t make it any better.  Don’t sweat the small things.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, realize what you did wrong and move on.  If you chuckle along the way because you looked a little silly then that is even better!

  • Spend time with God

Out of all of these points, this is probably the most important because we find our peace, rest and refreshment from spending time with God.   Psalm 42:1 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”  We need time with God like we need water, food and air.  It is essential to our survival.  Make sure that you take time to be still with God and hear His voice.  It’s important that we tell God our requests and it is equally important that we allow God to speak into us.  I have personally found the more I allow God to pour into me, the more I am able to combat the chaos that life can throw at me.

The more I rely on God to lead me through life, the more I realize that the busyness of life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  One of my goals going forward to is to be more present in the now and spend more time showing people that they matter.  When I die – many, many years from now – I don’t want people to say that I got a lot of things done, but that I made them feel important.  In the end, that is what matters.

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Unity

Unity – the state of not being multiple. That is what Christ wants for His church. If you consider yourself a Christ-follower, He is speaking about you & I. It is no secret that, in America, unity is not where we are in our country. So many of us are waiting for our government to unify us, make this country better. But we can’t depend on them to do that. It must start in the church…with us!
So many things could divide us if we let differences matter. I am very blessed to attend a church that is multiracial, multigenerational, and multi-socioeconomic. We aren’t a perfect church because that doesn’t exist. But the fact that we have many differences and yet we are one family says so much. It shows me that unity within the body of Christ is possible.

We are going to be different. We are going to have Democrats & Republicans, different races, some people wealthy and others that aren’t – and still work for the same goal. The Church should be where unity starts.  

Let’s show love to others regardless of how different someone is to us. Speak truth, yes. Preach the word, yes. Live righteously, yes. But love people like God loves. Seek justice for those who deserve it. Treat all people like they have value…because they do. Everyone is made in God’s image.  

Let’s start being the change we wish to see in the world & living boldly. Who is joining me?

““A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.””

‭‭John‬ ‭13:34-35‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:1-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3:26-29‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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It’s time for war

Man, things can change in a moment, can’t they?

This world is so unpredictable, harsh, and unmerciful. Right now, that is reality to many people globally.

I’m so thankful that we serve a God who truly cares about us.  “What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10:29-31‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The God who created the universe listens to each of our prayers.  All of them. “And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.” ‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:14-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Folks, life is changing around us lightning fast.  Life is brutal.  Instead of putting our fear, hate, complaining, frustration, etc. out in the world – let’s put our effort in petitioning someone who can actually do something.

It’s time to get real and wage a spiritual war.  War for everything wrong in this world.  

Like the song goes”I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.”

““ LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor!” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭107:28-30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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Pressing Reset

Being a Christian does not automatically cause you to stop sinning. Nope…I am a sinner in need of a Savior every day.  Being a Christian also doesn’t keep you from experiencing tough times.  Nope…we go through them like every other human on the Earth.  The difference, though, resides in who we turn to when in those trials.

Here is a major battle I fight often: I feel so inadequate and unworthy at times. I feel very much like I am worthless…like the promises God has placed on my life are not real.  Oh, but those are just lies.  They are lies from the enemy who wants me to cower and not fulfill my life’s purpose; to keep me believing that I am weak and no different than I’ve ever been.

What about you? What are the lies the enemy tells you?  What self-talk do you struggle with?

The greatest way to counter those lies is the word of God. The truth in the Bible is everlasting.  It will not die!

Here are a few truths I consistently remind myself of:

God loves you and me: But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

You and I are made new: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

He knew us before He formed us: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Through Christ, we are made strong: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Believers have been given eternal life: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

We have been bought with a high price: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” (1 Peter 1:18-19)

Replacing the lies of the enemy – whatever those lies may be – with the word of God will keep your mind on track. Keeping your thoughts on track will help you stay your course and finish the race set before us.  Don’t ever give up!

There are times, though, where I find myself in a place that I am unsure what are lies and what aren’t. It get confusing because life gets busy, I don’t spend time with God like I should, or I’m just stuck in a mindset that is unhealthy…I will have to pray this simple prayer from Psalm 139:23-24:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

I encourage you to start spending time with God every day. Pray the prayer from Psalm 139,  Feed your mind with the word of God so when the enemy lies, you can remind yourself what God says about you.

Be blessed, readers.

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Trust Issues

I love people. I love how each person is unique in their way.  We all see the world differently.  Sitting with someone who isn’t in the same culture, the same age, race, or gender as you and listening to how they see the world will open your eyes to things you’ve never thought of.  God has truly engineered us to be unique and be a masterpiece.  He made us all amazing creatures.

With that said, putting people in the same place as God in your life will cause great pain. We cannot rely on people to always be there or to always have our back.  We cannot put them in a place that, if they disappoint us, our world turns upside down.  No, people cannot be held to that standard.  The people I love will disappoint me and hurt me at some point.  And, in turn, I will disappoint and hurt them as well.  This is part of living in a world that has sin in it.

We must learn to rely on God first and put our full trust in God. He will never fail us.  When we do this, when we rely on God to be the perfect one in our life and not our loved ones, we can live a satisfying life.  When we don’t expect perfection from others, but love them for who they are, flaws and all, we not only have healthy relationships, but we also show them true, perfect love.

I encourage you to evaluate how you view the people in your life and how allow yourself to expect perfection from them. Know that sometimes people will let you down.  Give them the grace you want to see when, inevitably, you will let them down too.  Only put God on the pedestal of perfection.  He is the only one who will always be there and will truly never fail us.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled. Joshua 21:45

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

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