Rest…that has been something God has wanted me to pursue this year. That is one thing I have a hard time doing – not being in control & in the middle of everything. One thing that is not “natural” for me. I know some of you can relate.
Busyness is a common place for me. It is my comfort zone and it helps me define my worth. Yes, that is right…without something to do, I have a hard time seeing myself as important in this world. Without doing something – will people love me as I am? Will God accept me?
Am I good enough to just be me without offering anything to the world? Is it enough for me to not have 5 things happen all at the same time? If I’m not drowning in stuff to do, am I doing it right?
Oh, but when God says to do something, you should do it. I’ve learned this the hard way this year. God is a good Father and will step in if His children are stubborn. That stubborn child is me. Lord, help me.
God had to shift things up so that I would pay attention. Let me just tell you this – it is much easier if you just listen to God. Remember this next time you – yourself- want to be stubborn.
Don’t get me wrong, the fact that God stepped in is a place of celebration for me. This is because I know He cares and that I am His. Hebrews 12:6 says: ““For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”” It is a blessing to be disciplined because it means He calls us His.
One thing God has helped me understand in this season is that He is in control. That He can be trusted. One of the reasons I was so busy was because I wanted to be in the middle of everything because I couldn’t trust that I would be cared for. I know, silly to think about how God won’t take care of me when He is so good however, that trust is not too easy to walk out.
Faith is a strange thing. When you don’t trust God with everything, you cannot have faith in Him with your whole heart. This is a problem for someone who lives for God – because your life contradicts itself. That was me. I was not allowing God to move in me like He wanted to.
So – now, after God got me alone, I had two choices. I could learn to lean into Him or walk away from Him. I chose to lean in. I wish I could say that it was easy, but it wasn’t. I could never imagine myself walking away from God, but it was still so hard to lean in and trust.
Let me tell you this – as I lean in closer, the more and more I see that He knows best. That His healing is not here today and gone tomorrow – it lasts. That whatever I face, He wants to fight for me (Exodus 14:14). And He can be trusted with everything – whatever it may be!
So if what I just described is something you have faced lately…know this – you can lean in and you can trust God. He will not leave you or abandon you!! Reach out to God, repent for not trusting Him and start following His lead.
“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”
Psalms 91:1-4 NLT
Boldly Radiant 